reflections|snoitcelfer

Finally see the “outside world” after being confined for duty for the past week. initially i dreaded being confined for the duty, but it turns out to be rather enjoyable… a little like a chalet stay i must say. haha! but maybe thats just because we are lucky to have the nicer people staying back with us which made the whole confinement thingy much more enjoyable.

oh. and we finally get to book out yesterday evening? it was supposedly a off for us, but it turns out to seem more like a nights off to me. haha! wells, at least i get to sleep on my own bed for a night.

next week we are going out into the woods again. hope everything goes well, though i seriously think that this time round things will be much tougher with the newly posted in supervising us. haha! freak… shall just play my part and hope that everything goes well… But i guess this time round we will really have to yell our lungs out till the chickens can really lay eggs. =.=

Booking in soon~ time out here always pass that quickly.

One time is running through my head repeatedly. love that song man. (:

time really flies, and before you know it, i’ve already been serving my nation for more than half a year. i still vividly remember how i dreaded receiving that letter with the all so important date that marks the end of your freedom for the next 2 years. but well, it isn’t that bad after you get used to life here.

Remembering the first day i stepped into tekong, such an unfamiliar environment and the need to part with your family members… i still remember that awkward feeling, embarking on a journey to become an independent young man. frankly speaking, i guess serving the army really makes one grow up with the many things that you can only depend on yourself, and the many things that you see, of which many you are so protected from during schooling days. The many things that you need to make a decision of just demands a need for you to grow up, to think rationally for every decision that you make will just so make a big difference.

Wells, having been here all these while, you really get to see politics within people and sometimes how childish man kind may be. but it is really a good preparation for the outside world for i believe there are much worse people out there that we have to look out for. Management and judgment are so important aspects in life. (>.<)

Anyways, went zouk to chill out with sha tiff and car. met lots of people there, and it feels like thats the only few places youngsters get to chill out in Singapore. haha. had a really fun time there seeing those once so decent people go wild in the dark! haha.

Going timber later. it’s really time to save up man. spending all too much this week.

Having a long weekend break this week, but as usual, it doesnt feel exactly long either. Time still flies, and before you know it, its already a sunday. (>.<)

Went Sentosa with the battery on friday and had lots of fun there. Though it was really quite boring at first, but wells, at least its a time when we really get to relax and chill out. Like what sm say, it’ll be a long time till the next cohesion… So i guess its gonna be a long and tiring journey ahead. ARRRH! and i dread the fact that i wouldn’t be able to book out of friday this coming week due to live firing on sat. poor me.

On friday night, went pubbing with wey chong, johnny, cc, kiantat, royston. haha. Its really a “lots of first time” experience. and this is the first time that i’m in a not-so-decent pub. LOLS! but drank quite some bit and its quite fun to play with them in such a whole new environment to me.

this shall be the 2nd and the last time these 3 letters will be shouted out… the very next thing to look forward to is the other 3 letters starting with an O. lols!

anyways, finished our pop parade yesterday night and i must really say, i’ve never been through a parade as stressful as what i’ve gone through yesterday. throughout the day, the flow of the parade were made running through my mind, for i’m afraid that a little wrong action of mine will just screw the whole thing up… getting the timings right to unlock, lower the travel lock and barrel and stuff, i just wanna make everything as perfect as it can be. but i must say, fortunately, everything turned out well, and i guess the effect of our opening had quite an impact. (: *phews* finally everything has come to an end.

Though we are gonna stay in the same camp as usual, i guess its yet another phase of journey we have to go through, preparing for what awaits us in January.  i hope from now till then, things will turn out smoothly for me. *prays* and i hope our long break will come soon for me to fully recharge and go all the way. lols.

Anyways, went to the ORD function thing today, and it really make me feel like ording this moment. haha! looking at them take back their pink ics just make me all so jealous. no matter what, at least we had a good share of fun time today (:

praying that everything turns out well…

praying that i’ll be able to improve as the days progresses…

Have been returning home late for the past 2 weeks, enriching my night life after so long a time…

Sent Hui off last week, and it just brings people to realise how time flies. it seems as though it was yesterday when we just stepped into the same class in our sec1 days, and now she is flying off to Switzerland for her uni studies~ Wells, but army days just seems to crawl instead. >.< Anyways, wish her all the best for her studies and hope to see her real soon!

Went St. James yesterday night with sha, car, tiff, jw and wj. Had a fun night there dancing along with the beats of the wonderful music. haha. kinda enjoy my first time experience over there and it got me to realise how much of a clubber my friends were.. *hint hint* you know who i’m refering to. lols. but it feel kinda nice to be dancing your way and putting all your thinking behind for that short few hours. XD

Finally, this coming thursday is our passing out parade. unlike bmt, i don’t feel that much of an excitement for this parade. maybe cause no matter what, i’ll still be here for the next 1 plus years and it really doesn’t make much of a difference whether this parade exist or not. on a second thought, maybe at least your family members get to know what exactly you are doing 5 days a week in that same old place. wells, hopefully everything turns well then.

Booking in soon! weekend just flies while weekdays crawls.

I WANT MY BLOCK LEAVE!!!

the fates between people are not joint by blood but rather joint together by our hearts…

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there was once a child who took his father’s heart and ran away, wanting to sell it for money… As he ran, he fell, dropping the heart… The heart that’s all covered with dirt exclaimed ” my child, are you alright? “. That’s what parents are, always that forgiving… No matter how mean you are to them, no matter how much they seemed to have given up on you, you are still of utmost importance to them.

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Choices are inevitable in life. More often than not, we are forced to make decisions that may affect our future. Every choice available has its own pros and cons and its always what we value more instead of  which choice being the perfect one. No matter what it might be, if you’ve got to make a choice, make one where you will have the least regrets.

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Compassion… Something that desirable yet difficult to obtain.

Went to watch the special episode of zettai kareshi after kee ann told me how meaningful that show is. I must say, there is really something to take away from this show, learning the need to let go when its time to.

More often than not, humans are all so selfish, constantly thinking only for themselves. when it comes to love, its also the case… We seem to neglect the fact that sometimes letting go is also a form of love, in order for the other part to seek for a better future. whats the point of hogging on when you know she will be better off with the other? Maybe when you let go, knowing that she will lead a better life, you will feel much better than waiting for something that will never happen.

At the last part of the show, night pushed riko away from him… Sometimes, it really pains to let go, but we have to learn to move forward in life and not to look back. like what captain raymond once said, if you live in the past, you live in regret, if  you live in the future, you live in worry, so it’s better to live in the present… We just have to move on with life and thats the best solution to every heart wrenching memory that we might have.

Oh, and finally uni life has started for the girls. Its amazing how time flies with JC 1 days being just like a yesterday event. Now, everyone has moved on to a new stage in life, guys being “jailed up” at least 5 days a week and girls having a all new different kind of school life. I guess uni life will be really fun being less restrictive and stuff. But hearing from the girls, it seems as though it’ll be kinda hard to make new friends in uni with you meeting different people everytime. but looking at them go back to school makes you all so ready to join them in 2 years time. haha. apart from that, lets just hope that these 2 years of army life will be a smooth sailing one. (:

looking forward to the day when we finally get to pop again…

3 more weeks to go…

I feel so freaking weak!

Went to see a doctor on Monday after realising that my temperature seems to be escalating as minutes run by, got myself att C for Tuesday and manage to rest well at home thinking that i’ll be able to give my 101% when i get back to camp. Sadly, on Tuesday night, i know that i have yet to recover, but not wanting to miss too much of lessons for the week, i just beared through it and manage to go through all the lectures lined up for us.

Wednesday night, i totally couldn’t sleep with that sudden splitting headache… it was really unbearable, and to those who think that this is worth it since you will most probably get to rest at home, trust me… you won’t want to experience this. i manage to fall asleep till 2am, when i woke up to realise my body is all so hot. crawled to my thermometer to realise the most shocking thing of my life, having a temperature of 38.7 degrees Celsius. ): After which i couldn’t fall asleep again, cause the feeling was all so awful. i started to count down to reveille, which seemed all so far away, with minutes passing like years. when its finally time for everyone to wake up, i need to count down again to 9am when i can finally report sick. thinking that i’ll soon be attended to, and that i”ll be spared from my headache soon, i embarked on my journey for the very first time to the medical centre. kinda disappointed when i reach there cause i was made to wait for 3 freaking hours before i get to see the MO and the 3 hours of wait brings you the suckiest doctor i have ever seen. (>.<) wonder why such impatient people are worthy to be a doctor… how are the lives of people going to be in his hands with such incorrigible attitude. tsk. maybe medicine courses shall really consider the character of the people they take in…

Anyways, here i am on att C again. >.< 2 days of att C, and i hope i will really fully recover within this 2 days. hate the need to swallow down those pills which makes your mouth all so bitter… Hais, and this 2 days of att C is causing me to miss out on my gun drill lessons. Really don’t want to be lagging behind the rest… hopefully when i get back on Monday, I’ll be able to catch up on all the relevant things that they have learnt… Shall not think too much for now and really rest well… XD

for you whom is all so encouraging…

i finally see the need to work hard…

it may just be a simple word…

but it touches deep down my heart…

thank you…

I’ll work hard… (:

Had a super long break this week with a public holiday on monday and me on attend c for tuesday. Though so, having fever really sucks! i practically slept my monday and tuesday off after eating those medicine that made me all so drowsy and perspire like there is no tomorrow. Pretty glad that at least i finally get to rest well, but i think i have yet to recover fully… too bad, i’m booking in soon… 2 more hours to go! hopefully my temperature doesn’t rise when i get back to camp. (>.<) praying for the best and to stay healthy for the rest of the week…

i thought i’ll be supported…

but i guess i ain’t…

maybe when one is unlucky… nothing good will happen…

i wonder when i book in later…

what other bad things will be awaiting my arrival…

the melody of black glass kinda trigger off my emotions… as the soothing voice of kim hyung joon runs through my mind, everything seems so clear.

an accidental message got me to wake up from my dreams… i thought i have long forgotten, but i have yet to. the fire is still burning within my heart, just that maybe it is well hidden. this time round though, i guess its time to extinguish the fire and put it to an end. i thought it would have been the same, but sayings are always true – nothing will be the same as we move on. maybe its again my thinking-too-much, or maybe its just all so evident, talks are no longer possible.

indeed, 19 years of life, with an occurrence of regrets twice… how painful can that be? but i guess everything is just part and parcel of life, part and parcel of growing up to be a stronger man.

being in army, i must admit that at times it really stops me from thinking too much, with activities all lined up to occupy me for the whole day. at the same time, it can be really demoralising, with people who doesn’t speak before filtering out what they should and what they shouldn’t say. maybe sometimes one doesn’t really mean it, but words are as good as daggers, that can pierce that deep into your heart. everyone will want to work hard, but encouragement is what is needed i guess…

time passes that quickly but memories are ever so vivid…

at the blink of an eye, its yet another day of booking in! weekend seriously passes too quickly, its as if i just booked out yesterday and now i’m going to book in again~ the rest that we are entitled is all so pathetic… maybe its realising so thats making me want to maximise the usage of every free time i’m entitled with… haha, or at least it has taught me that every minute of time really counts, something that i’ve failed to realise in the past… wells, we are living in a give and take society, there is always something to learn from what is lost…

though time passes that fast, memories doesn’t seem to fade away… sometimes, things that you hope  you will forget seems to be etched in your mind, never able to slowly fade away… with a sad song, with a similar scene, it seems to trigger you to remember those very memories… i wonder how one can forget things that they want to. (>.<)

i wonder  if you are living well~

Seriously couldn’t believe the fact that i’m actually back at home on a thursday night! who can ever enjoy this in his ns days man, but the thought of having to reach East Coast Park at 650am tomorrow sucks.

Anyways, i guess i’m kinda getting used to life in kranji camp already. Life here isn’t that bad afterall, after the first week of chaos, things have turned better and i guess life have been much better for the past 2 weeks. really glad that the people in there are kinda fun going, bearing in mind that these are the brothers that i will be going through thick and thin with for the next 1 year 9 months. i guess, we are really fortunate to have really outgoing and caring sergeants with us too…

Though so, i guess ns has really taught  us to love the people around us more. Despite having really fun people in camp, the feeling of having to be restricted to that small little area sucks. It really makes you miss home alot (i guess many will feel the same way as i do). Maybe thats a good thing about ns, making one realise how fortunate you have been and allowing you to realise the need to treasure whats by your side before its all too late. (>.<)

next week shall be the start of the driving lessons, guess it will be kinda tiring but i’m looking forward to it! i suppose its going to be a fun time driving that gigantic machine! (: ALL THE WAY! lols.

anyways, kanna ic for the next few days. today marks the first day of me being the ic… i seriously think that i did a sucky job! though i didn’t screw up any commands or whatsoever, but i still think i didnt do well… wells, maybe i just need to improve myself somehow. LOLS! hope i won’t be late tomorrow… but i still don’t know who will be missing tomorrow and seriously wonder how am i going to account for the strength~ lets just pray that everything turns out well… (>.0)

Thinking of what is suitable~~~

A new phase in life has began 2 weeks ago… Though many complained that training is really tough, that regimentation is far beyond toleration, i personally find them all ok. Maybe its due to the great change over from the first 3 days that made me all so thankful of what i have now. At the moment of the change over, i learnt of how much i should treasure the good that i am given and be satisfied of the benefits given to me. maybe its due to this reason, no matter how tough training might be, i’m still thankful that changes are made and my life really much better than the first 3 days in this totally new place.

I must say, i’m totally different now as compared to who i was during that 3 days… those 3 days is kinda like life in hell, whereby the people around you have totally different frequency as of that of yours, talking about stuffs that you totally could not understand.for 3 days, i was in complete silence except talking on the phone with lun and ka which is the only pleasant thing to me throughout the 3 days… thank god for the change over tht happened on the third day, at least i got to become a more cheerful man, able to crap just like who i am. hahas…

though many a times, i get really worried that i wouldn’t be able to keep up with the standard required, i promised myself i will try my best for i’m already blessed with a great change that will make my next 2 years a smooth sailing and enjoyable one. (: Anyways, really looking forward to the New Zealand trip in Janurary… Though training may be tough, i hope everything goes well and i’ll be able to survive through anything that i’ll be given. (:

ALL THE WAY!

在那寂靜的夜裏

動人旋律漂浮心底

一張張的回憶

讓人歡笑讓人哭泣。。。

好多的早知道

好多的做得好。。。

一切的一切早已過去。。。

往事只能回味 想回到過去。。。

好多時候生在福中不知福

到了失去才後悔 但已來不及。。。

跌倒了，就得自己爬起來。。。

後悔了，就該往前走。。。

珍惜現在，嚮往未來。。。

答應自己全力以赴。。。

把“後悔”徹底的忘記。。。

I’m sick. ):

But i guess i’m feeling better after taking those horrible medicines that tasted like shit! The worse part is i was made to pay 54 bucks for those! Thats like daylight robbery… But i guess its worth it since i’m recovering well. (: Yesterday night was such a suffering for me… nearly fainted on the way home with my temperature escalating with every inch that the bus covers. (>.<)”

Yesterday was quite a fun day shopping with han loong, kelvin, rui he, jon and nic. haha! 6 guys covering the whole of orchard and all the way to bugis! thats like route marching in town… LOLS! but its been a long time since my last shopping in town.. Anyways, bought mum and dad new wallets, and i hope they really like them. (:

Falling sick really makes you feel extra lonely at times… When you feel all so cold, wrapping yourself with that thin blanket… it just makes you pray for someone to be right beside u, comforting you to sleep… hahas… maybe i’m thinking too much again…

I realise i haven’t been talking to some people for a long time… Maybe some as long as half a year i guess? Hope everyone is doing well now… i hope you are… (:

as the soothing voice of daniel bedingfield runs through my blood, vivid images ran through my mind, those memories that should have been long buried are so clear that it seems as though they happened just yesterday.

i still remember those 2 nights, how my tears flowed uncontrollably, how sorrows drowned me into dreams… making me fear, fear of similar incidents happening again, so much so that i’m beginning to avoid every single thing that feel so like the past… simply cause i’m afraid of experiencing those very moments again.

that night, i remembered seeing my phone ring continuously, even when i set my phone to silent mode, i could still see the blinking backlight of my phone in that complete darkness… light that seem all scattered by the tears that filled my eyes. sometimes, i really regret doing things on impulse, regret messaging those words because it seems like the whole world wanted me to… i should have been selfish and done something for myself for that single time. maybe if i have done so, at least now, there is still a number that i could text whenever i don’t feel so well, whenever i feel that i needed someone to talk to. whatever it is, its all too late, for we can never go back into time… the only thing i can do is to avoid… avoiding every similar situations that allowed memories and faces to flash through my head… i just couldnt get over it… i wonder if i ever could… …

that night, staring at the very laptop screen that i’m looking at now, the world seemed as though it stopped revolving… those words that lie before me, i still remember… though not every single word, but i can still remember the very message it is trying to bring across. i couldn’t believe what lies before me, and tears of disappointment flows… it had such a great impact on me that i couldn’t heighten my spirits when i get back to school the next day… everyone knew i wasn’t feeling well… but none would have expected what happened that turned me into a log… a total log who couldn’t move, with those words haunting me every second… but i guess its all better now, just that at some instances when i’m about to do something wrong, those words refrain me from that… maybe i just needed to learn things the hard way…

now, i wonder, if a person’s name determines his character for you 2 are so alike… so alike that i’m really scared… i guess, i should just avoid… for i don’t want it to happen again… i don’t think i have what it takes to experience it again…

i surrender…

i don’t wanna run away… but i can’t take it… i don’t understand…

POP LO!

The long awaited graduation parade is finally over, but i guess, what jianhong said is right – you will miss your BMT days. Having spent around 3 months with these guys, they kinda became part of my life, people whom i see the moment i open my eyes as early as 515 in the morning, guys whom i spent 120 hours a week with.

i must say, these 3 months have brought some of us real close together, in terms of the brotherhood that we share, and it really pains to be parting with just a short 1 hours plus parade. (>.<) and it sucks at the thought that everything starts anew when we are posted to the various units on the 22nd of June. once again, we have to face those unfamiliar faces and try to create bonds within… oh wells, but that seems to be part and parcel of life, where people just come and go, while others leave a deep impression in you and maybe stay with you till old.

anyways, finally get to really rest well for around 10 plus days! weekends off are seriously not enough to re-charge myself and get me all refreshed and ready to go. haha! but i guess as always, time flies and soon to come, our block leave will be over…(>.<) shall start planning to fully utilise this block leave of mine (maybe helping out a little at dad’s stall). hah!

*prays on posting results on the 19th* hope everything turns out well!

send me to somewhere desirable please~~~

以为已经忘记

那微笑中带的甜蜜

灿烂彩虹般笑容

长发飘移爱入我心中

六次我爱你 好想你

数字加不清 减不离

一加五的心 还在想着你

一加五的心 没放弃

无时无刻都“六”在我心

看时间慢慢“六”去

以为将冲淡我的心

但时间证明爱好难忘记

那爱“六”不离我心

六次我爱你 好想你

数字加不清 减不离

一加五的心 还在想着你

一加五的心 没放弃

无时无刻都“六”在我心

一加五等于着我永远的爱你