reflections|snoitcelfer

Some how what happened triggered me to feel damn pissed and upset. It has been super long since i get so worked up, and this feeling really sucks for i have nowhere to vent my anger.

Recently, i feel that I’m walking on an unlucky path. Nothing feel right and nothing has worked out right. For pretty much no reason, i failed my tp twice, for pretty much no reason, i get easily annoyed… For being just unlucky, i lose on my bets. AND FOR NOW! GET MALIGNED! this is seriously WHAT THE FUCK!

Honestly, when have i ever rejected when asked to help? Whenever i’m approached with a task, since when have i not put in my hundred and ten percent to complete any task that im entrusted with? This time round, it is not that i don’t want to help but just you being freaking impatient and you are blaming me for not helping?! I can’t believe people can be so unreasonable and nonsensical. Here i am trying to do rush for my deadline and there you are asking me to help for a plain reason that you just came back from the garage and you are lazy to go back! What the hell is such an excuse. Furthermore, i didn’t even rejected your request! I even took over the documents, ready to go over! Can’t you wait a little while, while people work out the very last bit of the table that we have spent hours on? It is your impatience that you took over the documents and say that you will go over yourself, and here you are complaining that we refused to help! WHAT A JOKE!

Damn. but somehow this brought me to realise something… No matter how hard you work, no matter how much effort you put in, you will not be recognise. No one really cares and what you do are often taken for granted, like you have you and are meant to do. Fuck! But i owe you nothing dude! Wake up your idea. Seriously… After much that happened recently, i realised it’s not about how capable you are, not about how much effort you put in. Everything here is about you aceing your IPPT and passing your SOC. As long as you attain the 2 requirements, you are a good soldier, you are the best! If you don’t, no matter what you do, you are nothing! On the contrary, if you do, even if you are someone who slackens off much, even if you are someone who can be happily enjoying yourself while people sweat like mad in the garage, you can be crowned a good soldier or even the best.

Damn. I hate this.

Today marks the end of  a week of block leave. (>.<) Sometimes you really can’t go for such long breaks for you will not want to go back after getting a taste of how good civilian life can be.

Went Batam with Johnny, ShiDa, KianTat, Royston, Noel Tan, Nicholas, WeiShi, ZiKai, Noel Aug on the 12th – 13th  June 2010!  This is the very first time i go on a overseas trip with my friends (not considering saf trips like that to new zealand) and its really a different feel as to going overseas with your family. Just like everything else, there are pros and cons to going overseas with your friends. Pros being more fun with people of your age, much daring to try out every single stuff available, people of common interest hence maximising the time spent overseas… Cons being you really have to be super budget conscious. HAHA! Being overseas with your parents can easily mean you just buy any and everything that you like without having to worry that you run out of cash. LOLS!

Anyways, this trip to Batam has been a pretty fun and fulfilling one. Went to try out lots of stuff like water sports which is seriously addictive, making me feel like flying to thailand to try out more of such sports, which are supposedly more challenging. Enjoyed the time over at the bridge’s restaurant where such a sumptous meal cost nothing but ten plus dollars per person! HAHAS. Though counting their currencies is quite a hassle, but looking at the many zeros that you have makes you feel like a millionnaire! Shopping there could easily get up to a million plus… XD Looking forward to the next overseas trip!

Urgh… Seriously can’t stand the idea that today is the end of the block leave… I don’t wanna go back~ Although what weijian says is pretty true, that at least i have a group of fun-loving campmates making life in camp much better than what it might have been. But still~~~ Guess once i get back to camp i’ll feel less of this reluctance to return when i get to see my fellow comarades. HAHA! lets hope that will be the case bahs. (>.<)

Feel really useless and unlucky. for the 2nd time i failed my tp!!! usually people fail tp due to the lack in skills, mounting curb and stuff… but both my failures happen to be due to my lack of luck.

When i was driving on the road today, i thought i’ll sure pass this test, with everything going on so super smoothly… but when i stepped out of the car and saw my instructor, he just said “凶多吉少”. i was still thinking why he said that when my driving today was rather ok… Now i know why… Cause the tester that i got is famous for not passing people’s tp. Even the counter’s assistant said the same thing. =.= why am i always that unlucky?

Maybe im just not fated to pass this driving shit… Giving up.