reflections|snoitcelfer

Some how what happened triggered me to feel damn pissed and upset. It has been super long since i get so worked up, and this feeling really sucks for i have nowhere to vent my anger.

Recently, i feel that I’m walking on an unlucky path. Nothing feel right and nothing has worked out right. For pretty much no reason, i failed my tp twice, for pretty much no reason, i get easily annoyed… For being just unlucky, i lose on my bets. AND FOR NOW! GET MALIGNED! this is seriously WHAT THE FUCK!

Honestly, when have i ever rejected when asked to help? Whenever i’m approached with a task, since when have i not put in my hundred and ten percent to complete any task that im entrusted with? This time round, it is not that i don’t want to help but just you being freaking impatient and you are blaming me for not helping?! I can’t believe people can be so unreasonable and nonsensical. Here i am trying to do rush for my deadline and there you are asking me to help for a plain reason that you just came back from the garage and you are lazy to go back! What the hell is such an excuse. Furthermore, i didn’t even rejected your request! I even took over the documents, ready to go over! Can’t you wait a little while, while people work out the very last bit of the table that we have spent hours on? It is your impatience that you took over the documents and say that you will go over yourself, and here you are complaining that we refused to help! WHAT A JOKE!

Damn. but somehow this brought me to realise something… No matter how hard you work, no matter how much effort you put in, you will not be recognise. No one really cares and what you do are often taken for granted, like you have you and are meant to do. Fuck! But i owe you nothing dude! Wake up your idea. Seriously… After much that happened recently, i realised it’s not about how capable you are, not about how much effort you put in. Everything here is about you aceing your IPPT and passing your SOC. As long as you attain the 2 requirements, you are a good soldier, you are the best! If you don’t, no matter what you do, you are nothing! On the contrary, if you do, even if you are someone who slackens off much, even if you are someone who can be happily enjoying yourself while people sweat like mad in the garage, you can be crowned a good soldier or even the best.

Damn. I hate this.